OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize