The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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