I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
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Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
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It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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