so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize