So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
4 words: hood of his car
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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