it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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