she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
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There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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