you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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