Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize