He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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