I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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