You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize