First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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