Since when is my name a synonym for head?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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