That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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