you guys were way drunker than both of me
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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