you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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