Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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