just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
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The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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