God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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