she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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