Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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