He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I need moral support for this bender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize