Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
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Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
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I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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