I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't deserve a penis
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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