I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize