TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize