you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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