One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
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