): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize