well I can't set my house on fire every night
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
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And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
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Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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