Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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