i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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