YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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