So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
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No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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