He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize