Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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