They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
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We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
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It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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