Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize