So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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