We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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