so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize