You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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