now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize