yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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