My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
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He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
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You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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