If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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