goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
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You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
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just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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