The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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