i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize